• THE VIEW FROM HERE •

• Self portrait with Starbuck yesterday •

Yesterday I took a little Sunday ride with Jeff's mom, Louise.  Last week was one of those weeks that really puts you through your paces.  And the night before had been especially rough, with Elliott not feeling well, and consequently,  not sleeping well.  So a ride was exactly what I needed to get my mind of off life's craziness for a few hours.  I'm very thankful to Louise for acting as my Paso Robles back-country tourguide yesterday, and VERY grateful to Jeffrey for encouraging me to go have fun, while he stayed behind to watch a grumpy 2 year old.  

Since I'm not much of a hiker, or a camper, I've really enjoyed exploring the Central Coast on horseback this past year.  It makes me feel like I'm getting to know the land in a much different, and deeper way.  Riding here has helped me to feel grounded and a bit more in touch with where I live.  I also love that Starbuck is the one exploring this new territory with me.  He's a kindred spirit, and an old friend- and I can't say I have many of either nearby.   It's a comfort to have him here.

• Baby 'Buck.  I had to stand on my knees to be eye-level with him for this photo •

• All grown up and modeling for Ambiance last Summer •

• The two of us exploring Bishop's Peak last year •

I love that he knows all the nooks and crannies of the trails back home on our little island-  the ones I spent years and years exploring on my "babysitter" horses.  And I like that we're discovering California together.  But it's funny riding here, my mind can't help but make comparisons.  For all the wetness, deep mud, wild fruit, and giant tree roots covering the trails back home, here there are ancient oaks, deer, gigantic pinecones, crunchy earth, and lots of dust.  A coyote crossed our path yesterday.  A COYOTE!  I'd only ever seen one briefly from the window of a train before.  A dog barked from behind a fence and startled Starbuck.  The sudden jolt reminded me of my constant fear - from a childhood spent on horseback... the threat of a pheasant flying out from under tall buffalo grass and spooking a running horse sideways.  It happened so many times, and kept me forever grateful for my saddle-horn.  Louise cautioned me that the comparable danger to riders here, is a sudden, bounding deer.

• She's such a cute cowgirl. I made her pause to capture this fun silhouette on our way home •

I don't talk much about them here on the blog, but it's amazing how much of my life, and how many of my memories were made on the back of a horse.  Crossing rivers, swimming through little waves... feeling my body float up and parallel with the surface of the water, clinging to a wet mane.  It's a visceral memory that I can still feel inside, and I love that I know it.  Wind so hard against my face, I could barely keep my eyes open, running up to the top of hills to see the valleys and taro fields far below.  Picking strawberry guavas to share with my horse.  One for you... one for me...  Always exploring, always discovering, always learning.  

One day when I was about 9 or 10 years old, I went for a long ride, exploring the base of a mountainous jungle with my horse and my dog.  Eventually I found a giant, old mango tree with passion fruit vines growing in it.  On the ground, I'd never have noticed them, but on my horse, they brushed across my face as I rode under the tree.  

*Photo Credit: Unknown (via google)

The purple and white flowers grew upside-down and looked like alien spaceships.  Convinced that I'd uncovered an entirely new species, I tucked a flower (bigger than my hand) into the pocket of my saddle, and raced back to announce my discovery (and start my career as a world-famous explorer/botanist/prodigy).  Of course, when I reached the barn, the flower was gone.  I knew that without a trail to guide me back, I'd never find the "magical tree" again.  So you can imagine my shock when I discovered the flowering vine for sale at Home Depot as an adult.  It made me laugh out loud.

I can only wonder what discoveries lay ahead for me in this old cowboy country.  It's so exciting to explore lands that horses and riders have traversed for centuries!  Excuse me, my inner history-nerd is showing, but really!  Louise told me about the ruins of a mission, and cemetery nearby and I'm very anxious to learn more.  Starbuck concurs.   We'll keep you updated.  :)

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Hello, friends!  I have some questions for you on this sunny Monday...  

What did you want to be when you grew up?  And how accurate was your ambition to your current career?  Did your parents influence your path?

Last night Jeff and I had a conversation centered around the idea of steering children down specific paths and exposing them to activities to help them master skills; in the hope that those skills will serve them later in whatever career they choose.  This (of course) led to a host of introspective thought and a (WOW, sorry) suuuper long blog post...  Jeff loves to reference Malcom Gladwell's "10,000 hour rule" - which basically states that 10,000 hours devoted to one activity, will inevitably render you a master at that activity.  That's roughly 3-4 hours per day for 7 years.  What activities in your life have you spent 10,000 hours doing?  Practicing piano?  Attending dance classes?  Restoring a boat?  Taking care of children?  Driving a car?  You may recall that earlier this summer James attended an engineering camp at Cal Poly.  Having no prior experience in that field- he went in not knowing what to expect, and honestly, we weren't sure if he would grasp the concepts or enjoy the activities...  as it turned out, he LOVED it.  After just one day he declared himself a "future particles engineer" and thrilled in pointing out all the ways in which engineering helps us in everyday life.  James also loves playing the piano, and will not hesitate to call himself a musician, or an artist, or a chef.  The truth is, he is all of these things.  Children (like adults) are multi-faceted.  So do we help them to choose one of these paths to focus their energy and time on?  Do we choose for them?  Do we let it all play out and not steer or center their focus at all?  

My parents didn't push any one activity on me but they definitely helped to steer my direction by providing the opportunity and making it possible for me to focus on the things that I was passionate about.  I rode a horse for the first time when I was 2, and I logged in far more than the requisite 10,000 hours by the time I turned 10.  Though I'm prone to embellishment, that estimate is not an exaggeration.  Riding a horse feels as natural to me as brushing my teeth, or tying my shoes.  There is no anxiety, there is no apprehension... it just is.  It's a part of who I am... ingrained and permanent.  Was it hard for my parents?  Did they sacrifice and go out of their way to make that happen for me?  No.  In fact, I think it was probably the easiest option at the time.  My mother was a horse trainer and she wouldn't hesitate to throw me on a "babysitter horse", and go about her work.  My mother imparted riding on me out of necessity and convenience, there was no respite from it.  Horse-immersion... like a job, was there rain or shine, and whether I felt like doing it or not.  She couldn't have known what an impact that consistency would have on me, or what a natural approach to learning it was.  Of course there were ballet classes, a short stint on a volleyball team, and later, Tae Kwon Do (which I loved and did well in), but nothing so ever-present in my life as horses. 

James has vacillated from soccer, to baseball, to dance, to pottery, to piano, and at 12 years old, I worry that he hasn't found his thing.  And is that my fault?  Should I be shuttling across town to games for sports and activities that he's only vaguely interested in?  This may not be the popular response, but going out of my way for something that neither of us is truly passionate about seems like a waste of time.  Make no mistake, if he was passionately devoted to something, I would shuttle and scramble and move mountains to make it available to him.  I'm waiting eagerly for that moment!  But to be honest with you, I believe so strongly in the idea that immersion learning is the most beneficial of all.  It certainly seems the most natural path to knowledge.  Whether we realize it or not, and whether our children make use of it later in life, or they don't- so much specialized knowledge can be imparted through parents.  And why shouldn't they take advantage of our own 10,000 hour knowledge?  My best friend whose dad owns a concrete company was able to mould and make a concrete septic tank by the time we were 16.  Certainly not because she sought out that knowledge- but because it was right there in front of her, and impossible to not learn.  Similarly, Jeff and his sister know the ins and outs of mushroom farming, not out of some deep-seeded interest in mushrooms, but by parental default.  Because of my parents I learned the business of horses, as well as how to run a taxi and limousine service, an extensive knowledge of plants and gardening, and also how to run a retail store.   Did I become a horse trainer?  No.  And I've never had any inclination to run a taxi and limousine service.  But I know what it takes to do it, and that broadens my value in competitive employment.  In fact, in none of the above references did the children follow the direct business paths of their parents, but does that make those skills less valuable?  Of course not.  The most important lessons my parents imparted on me were about taking chances, working hard, being your own boss, and self-expectations.  These are a skillset that have affected my career path and driven me to succeed on my own terms.   

I wonder, what skills Jeff and I are imparting on our own kids?  This is a scary question, because between the two of us, we're all across the board!  Hopefully this is a good thing... they can't help but learn about art as a career, painting, writing, photography, fashion, and retail.  And I know that they'll understand the value of creativity, marketing, and perseverance.  But my great hope is that, like us (and our parents), they'll never fear the unknown in business.  They'll choose a path, research it to death, and then armed with knowledge, be brave enough to dive in.  So what's my plan for James?  At the end of our conversation last night we decided that the best possible way to support our children in mastering a skill, is to expose them to a wide berth of possibilities and encourage them in whichever areas they show a true enthusiasm.  James will continue to play piano, and be an artist, a chef, and a particles engineer.  And we will continue to provide a piano, money for art classes, engineering camps, and food to cook.  Will the end result be a career in these fields?  It doesn't matter.  The true value is in the enrichment of life and learning.  

What skills will you impart upon your own children (either consciously, or unconsciously)?    

  

P.S. 

A very SLO morning...

Motherhood, Martyrdom, and Scheduling Life...

Helium head...

Oh, balloons...  and ponies... and cosmic tree lights...  

I love these arresting images by artist Andrea Galvani.  

P.S.

I always wonder who buys the black balloons.  Good to know.

Get outta town!

Hi, friends!  It's been a little quiet on the blog this week because Jeff and I ran away from home!  

Ok, ok... that's only kiiinda true.  We packed up the kiddos and skipped town to visit with his parents, swim in saltwater, smell roses + play with ponies.  Oh!  And did I mention that his mom made us a big yummy artichoke/chicken dinner?  Or that she scrambled ranch eggs in the morning?  Such a treat!  I love Jeff's parents so much.  With my own parents far away, it's such a comfort to be around family and just put everything else on hold sometimes.

W E   H A D   S O   M U C H   F U N !  

What's your favorite way to spend "family time" together?