What's what in Elliott-ville...

  

As we round the corner on Elliott's 21'st month in the world, I'm reminded every day of the impending t-word.  T, as in T W O.  And it's like he knows how close it is- and is behaving accordingly.  This Elliott of ours... phew!  He is a force.  Here's what's what in Elliott-ville lately...

Diapers?  No.  Just... no.  He's so over those things.  Unfortunately, his body didn't get the no-diaper memo that his mind sent out.  So in the meantime, diaper changes involve wrestling, distracting, impressive speed, and at least 4 hands.

Naps?  Ditto.  If anti-nap tantrums were an olympic sport- you'd be looking at the platinum medal CHAMPION OF THE UNIVERSE, RIGHT HERE!  I have never seen a child so willfully determined to not be put down for a nap.  I mean, if I could hear my own thoughts over the piercing screams... I'd probably be impressed with the determination.

Food?  We're good here, thank Jesus.  He's been a voracious eater since day 1, and happily the appetite is still going strong.  Of course he'd PREFER that every meal be served with a side of ketchup, and a carrot-apple crusher, but he'll take it either way.  That I can get this child to feast on yogurt, leeks, arugula, avocados, and every meat and veggie known to man makes me a very happy mama.  10 points for Elliott!

NO.  He hears this a lot, and every single time- it's like the very first time.  The hands come up over his eyes, the knees buckle, and *SPLAT* he's face-down on the ground.  Now... cue wailing.  Aaaaand scene.  Maybe not Oscar quality, but at least Golden Globe worthy.

Baths?  Like James and Evelyn before him, Elliott is a water baby through and through.  Anything that has gone wrong in this boy's life can be cured with warm water and a few bubbles.  On a particularly difficult afternoon (*ahem* I'm looking at you, Monday) he spent a good 2.5 hours in his cupcake tub.  I'm convinced that he would have stayed in it overnight if I hadn't pulled the YOURLIPSARETOTALLYPURPLEGETOUT mom card.  

His favorite words?  "Hi" and "happy".  *mellllllllt* 

And there it is... just when I think I'm about to lose my mind, he touches my cheek, looks me right in the eyes, smiles, and says: "Hiiiii!" like he hasn't seen me in YEARS.  He bounces down to the floor, gathers his mess of Hot Wheels, Duplos, and plastic picnic food- chanting "Happy" "Happy" Happy".  And how could we not be?  

So here's me, checking in from month no. 21, dreading month no. 24, and trying hard to appreciate every moment (good and bad) along the way.  

  

Motherhood, martyrdom, and scheduling life...

So after months of bed rest, Cesarean recovery, inevitable life-upside-down-ness that comes along with a new babe, a year and a half of sleep deprivation, and the miscellaneous juggling that comes with parenting and self-employment...  Jeff and I have finally come up with a schedule!  WHY oh why didn't we do this a year ago???  Honestly, when we first talked about it, I worried that I was being overly rigid and O.C.D. about life, but now I realize that it's really about replacing chaos with balance.  My friends, it has been nothing short of AMAZING.  I feel human again.  

Instead of trying to squeeze in work between Elliott's naps, or pass him back and forth throughout the day, or just... give in to frustration, give up and get nothing done... I have two days a week to spend as I please.  Work?  Rest?  Clean?  Get mah hair did?  No problem.  Game changer!  I'm able to PLAN, EXECUTE, and FINISH everything that I start.  I'm able to sleep in, think clearly, make appointments, meet deadlines, run errands, have meetings (without wearing an Ergo), or even take showers in the middle of the day when I'm on day three of dry shampoo and baby goo.  

 At the end of these scheduled days, I feel so revitalized and grateful.  I feel better able to focus on my children, without simultaneously thinking of all the work piling up.  I feel excited about cooking and meal planning, and anxious to enjoy time with my family again.  I recently read some essays on this working/parenting balance that actually made me angry.  Society both looks down upon mothers who "let themselves go" and condemns the ones that "put themselves first".  How can we win?  Balance.  As mothers we are so ingrained to put ourselves last, and the guilt comes so easily when we don't; but the truth is... I'm not at my best when I'm not taking care of myself, and my children deserve better than that.  When I'm an exhausted mess, I'm a shell of the mom I want to be.  My friend Debra discussed it with me and I loved her perspective: "It's the air mask on a plane principle...  I used to think it was sad to put mine on first, but no one is going to look out for your child as well as his mother- and if she can't breathe that child will suffer.  And to be honest, nothing is less attractive on a woman than martyrdom."  Truth.  

Our schedule is my new favorite thing.  But my absolute favorite part about it?  Jeff and Elliott go on these darling daddy/baby dates to parks, In n Out Burger, Nanny's house, long bike rides - you know, general boy shenanigans.  And they send me the most precious little videos and adorable photos while out on these excursions.  

Treasures, I tell ya...

Bringing Up Bébé...

How sick are you of hearing about this book?

It's been reviewed, revered, and reviled everywhere from the New York Times, and Forbes, to the Wall Street Journal, and the Huffington Post - not to mention every mommy blog in-between...

I bought it last week.  

I'll spare you another in-depth review, but I'll give you my brief opinion of it.  First, you should know that I had pretty low expectations.  I read all of the above, and about 300 reader comments about the book, many of whom came from French mother's themselves, who really couldn't understand what all the fuss was about.  Many were offended by the notion that even their parenting could be reduced to a fad by an American author.  Most of them couldn't grasp the idea that these common sense ideals could be a revelation in motherhood.  In the first chapter Druckerman addresses this, by stating outright that the French mothers she interviewed insisted that they weren't doing anything special.  I realized in reading this that one mother's/country's/culture's common sense is another's  epiphany!  As an American, living and raising children in France, Druckerman found herself in a unique perspective- with the opportunity to observe both her American and French friends with their children and she found remarkable disparities in their parenting styles and focus, and these are the observations she shares with us in Bringing Up Bébé.  

   

You guys, I LOVE THIS BOOK!  

I had every intention of flipping through it, reading a chapter or two over a cup of cocoa in the Barnes & Noble Cafe, and promptly returning it to the shelf.  I was prepared to dismiss it with a super ambivalent "Yeah, I started to read it- it was crap".  But it's fantastic!  I found it really informative and objective; more anthropological than instructional.  Take what you want from it, but this is what she learned.  What works for one mother may not work for another, but I fully appreciate the idea of a woman sharing something that worked well for her, and spreading the word.  Plus, this all plays out in Paris!  The exact same parenting methods might be happening in Japan, Africa, Argentina...  but oh, Paris.  Paris just makes it all that much more intriguing, doesn't it?  

Tonight I fed my baby braised leeks for dinner- because of this book.  He loved them! Braised leeks for my 8 month old boy wouldn't even have occurred to me last week. Voila!

Merci, Ms. Druckerman.