Sooo... there's something that I've been reluctant to share here, but it's the reason why things have been a little quiet on the blog, so maybe it's time. Whew, that sounds big, huh? Well, for us it is.
We've been house hunting!
You're thinking, "that's it?!" Yup. But reading what Joanna had to say this morning about her own apartment hunt and the unexpected emotional toll it takes, really hit home and made me want to spill the beans. The house hunt has been a full-blown emotional rollercoaster for me. That moment of elation when we finally, FINALLY, found the one. Getting the key... seeing it from the inside, getting to know it better, mentally assigning rooms to each child, and smiling when you realize that YES, there will finally be a spot for that thing Jeff loves, or that giant painting you've lugged around forever. You know, really falling in love. The home (or the idea of the home) takes on a life of it's own inside you. The colors you'll paint it, the flowers you'll plant there, the memories you'll make... and then comes the baggage. And OH, is there baggage... Competitors vying for it, miscellaneous unforeseen "issues", offers, banks, promises, and lies. A torrential downpour of red tape, when all you want is to be in it, own it, and make it yours. I mean, don't these people realize that the house and I are meant for each other?! Come on! OK, can I just be totally real with you? This house hunt has been like all of my worst relationship moments rolled into one, big, witholding jerk. And I am a completely co-dependent house-crazed, obsessive. So why not move on, find something else (or *gasp* the "S" word)... SETTLE? Because when you find the one, and you know it's right... you'll put up with a lot of craziness to be together, and that's where we are now. Weathering the storm, hoping for the best, and praying every day for divine intervention.
So that's that. I'm not sure why I was so hesitant to talk about it here, but it's been all-consuming for a few weeks. And "all-consuming" is my trying-to-be-cool way of saying that I would walk across hot coals and maybe give up a kidney if it meant that we could have this house. At any given moment, I'm having an internal struggle that looks a lot like this scene... I am both Yolanda and Jules.
I'll keep you posted as to progress, and in the meantime- please send happy house thoughts our way. ♥